Monthly Archives: August 2019
Same old issues throwing my feelings overboard
Complaints from my frustrated heart
Things that did not seem problematic at the start
His voice, my voice I’m sure the universe have tired heard
Need to air out,
Get dressed and go out
Partnered with sister, brother in law and friend,
I intend to shack out
Standing dressed to impress
No longer feeling irritated and stressed
This is not the place to think of relationship mess
I look up, our eyes meet, all of a sudden I can’t feel my feet
Who is he?
Has he been sent to change me? rearrange me? complete me?
My life will never be the same
So starts my journey of unforgettable Joy, exposed shame of past pain,
Seasons of sunshine, seasons of rain
Seasons where love abound
And my womanhood was found
There is a tingling in the atmosphere
Goosebumps arise like chicken pox
My heart beats louder than a door knocks
Hello Dookie Dooks
Real life is about to begin
You were charmed by his looks
Now you are well and truly hooked
Two years you were with Saul
You have to face him and start talking
Little white lies
Your movements turn as you conjure up alibies
To kiss away teenage love
And embrace this sweet, handsome, dougla man
He looks like the real deal, well kind of!
Only time will tell.
Is THIS love that I’m feeling?
Dookie, you gotta know now…
I rummaged through Cams wardrobe, she had amazing clothes which I may add made all herself as she was a seamstress. My hands rested on a wicked olive suit, it was a pencil mini skirt and front buttoned jacket/top. With my size eight self, I would rock that with a pair of black stilettoes (which Cam had and we were the same size). Make-up, hair curled, I was ready.
Pearl, Cam and Patrick were also looking real good. I felt beautiful and looked beautiful. I made up my mind to forget about earlier that day. Cam was irritated by Saul and also encouraged me to forget him that night, ‘yuh too young to be so stressed over man, time to move on.’
Patrick drove us down to Panama Night Club. The mere fact we found a parking space pretty quick was an indicator that the club was empty! Panama was accustom having a slow start, but once going it was a pretty decent club. I felt eyes on us as we walked in and I knew the men in there wondered which one of us was with Patrick. The music was pumping good though and so we found a space on the wall facing the door to lime and have a good view of who was entering in.
Every now and then we nudged each other to have a giggle at a mismatched couple, an ugly brother, a badly dressed woman… passing time as we do. The dance floor was getting full and things were livening up, but we were still kinda disappointed that not one single good looking guy came through the ticket area, not that Pearl and I wanted a new man, more like we just wanted a good night of dancing with someone.
Cam wanted to go to the ladies, we normally all go together but we didn’t want to lose our space, Patrick had already left to get our top up of drinks so Pearl and I stayed put. Standing and gazing around at the dead action with the lack of unattached men and the undesirable single ones, we simultaneously froze and all we could is pull at the side of each others clothes excitedly, hot flushes and an uncontrollable grin as a prince charming stepped into the club with a few other guys. ‘Peeeearl oh my gosh looook at that fine Godsend’ Pearl responded without a breath between her words nearly tripping over her tongue, ‘I know, I know, I knoooooow, Jeez where’s Cam, trust her to miss this.’
He was of average height, dougla (mixed Indian / South Asian and African descent more or less), HANDSOME, dressed in a suit looking sharp, a smile to melt your heart and straight yet naturally curled hair…Saul, Saul who?! Cam appeared from the corner and we pulled her in quick ‘look to your left slowly, DON’T look obvious but clock that fine brotha oh my gosh’ so Cam waits then casually turns and it doesn’t take rocket science for her to know who we were drooling over, ‘Who him?’ she asks casually with no expression. ‘Yesss’ I reply still trying to compose my grin to a smile. Cam then spun around completely at the same time as she said ‘oh him’ and walked towards him leaving Pearl dumbfounded on the spot, mouth opened with a 101 questions flooding, She knows him, he’s a friend of my sister, how have I never seen this one… ‘Pearl I thought you knew Cams friends? how do you not know this guy? Pearl couldn’t even answer as she watched on in disbelief shrugging her shoulders.
Trying not to look bait, myself and Pearl kept peeking at them, Cam and that guy was having a conversation and sharing a laugh. After a while they turned and started to walk over to us, no doubt for introductions.
It took everything within me to breathe with precision and look un-phased by what stood before me. Cam had this grin on her face that I couldn’t read as my mind was in a tizwas, how could anyone think in this situation; “Kenrick this is my friend Pearl” he smiles nods and says hello… “and this is my sister Maria, Maria meet Kenrick” my smile breaks in a grin I just couldn’t keep it in. He looked me dead in my eyes as he said hello. My legs where’s my dam legs for they felt like jello. His smile was in his eyes, they sparkled every time a smile hit his face. He was breathtakingly handsome. In my mind rushed a million and one questions… ‘where did my sister meet this guy, why have I not seen him before, I knew her friends, well most of them; surly I would of remembered him.’ He was well dressed in a fitted suit, a little goatee beard that matched his jet black curly Asian type hair, his skin looked smooth without blemish and his smile was like a firearms as they shot bullets in me I felt weak,
He asked me to dance, like I was gonna say no! we danced and spoke about so many things that I didn’t realize we moved away from my party and him from his, just me and him. He asked me if I wanted a drink and I asked for a rum on the rocks. He brought me quite a few that night. I had relaxed and we spoke like we knew each other for years I learnt he was going to n holiday to Trinidad in a couple of months time for the first time. I had already been so was telling him of all the places to go. I clean forgot about Cam, Patrick and Pearl and likewise, Kenrick never went back to his friends he came with. The music played, we danced we spoke, it was a perfect end to a rotten day.
The lights were turned on, the club was about to finish, the last tune was being played and it was time to say goodbye. Its then that I realized we spent all night together wow and what a night it was. Kenrick asked for my number and I gave it to him without thinking twice. Cam said they’ll be by the car as they said their goodbyes, it was just parked across the road. David walked me to the car and we stood there for a moment, he said he would call me at 6pm the next day and I smiled in agreement, he then leant over tome and gave me the softest smoothest kiss on the cheek and smiled as he saw me into the car and walked away… Cam and Pearl looked at me cracking up laughing as I was in a daze, he kissed me, I could still feel it on my cheek. No way was I washing my make up off that night as I wanted that feeling to stay. I stared out the window on the way to Cams. I asked her like three times ‘where did you meet him and how long you’ve been friends’??? All Cam kept saying was ‘I’ll tell you when we reach home.’ so I gave up and starred out the window for the whole drive with a nerdy smile stuck on my face and I couldn’t even hear their conversation.
As soon as we got inside and took off our coats we badgered Cam to spill the beans…’Where, when?? stop stalling.’ Cam turned around with the most peculiar grin like the cat that swallowed the canary and said quite frankly “I don’t!” ‘Okay don’t what, what’s that supposed to mean??…Cam stop messing,’ “I mean just that” she said still smiling and by now trying to hold in a laugh. When I came out the toilet and you guys were going crazy about this guy and you showed me, on impulse I turned and walked straight to him and said ‘excuse me my sister over there really likes you, I wonder if you will do me a favour and come over and meet her?’ and he did, the rest is history. Myself and Pearl froze, mouth open catching flies. Cam you didn’t, you mean you never knew him, he’s not a friend of yours?? ‘nope, you need a man, get out of that relationship you have as all you do is argue, time to move on.’ gosh so cut throat. Well the ground could’ve opened up and swallow me in. Cam I would’ve never spoken to him if I knew that was what you were going over to do. If I was a white girl I would be beetroot red with embarrassment, what must he be thinking. As I replayed the evening in my mind I sunk deeper into my imaginary whirlwind hole. And to think I had asked him ‘so where do you know my sister from? his reply was ‘ask her when you get home!?’ awwww no wonder, what a plot, Cam was in stitches whilst Patrick and Pearl was chuckling and saying how Cam move quick to think of that plan and be so brave in a matter of minutes. Well it was done, it happened, it worked, I got a kiss and I had a phone call to receive 6pm the following day. ‘Well thanks a lot sis, it sure paid off.’ I laughed but I still felt like an idiot, how embarrassing omg.
Time to sleep… so tomorrow will come faster!