The Feeling

I love this

This feeling

It has my heart reeling

Wondering why…

There is no inappropriate touch

He would never think to put a hand on my crutch

Imagine, he loves me that much!

At first his tenderness mystified my mind

His mannerism always kind

Holds my hand while we walk

Looks into my eyes as we talk

Never will he disrespect me

We laughed and I felt somewhat free

Years before faded and seemed somewhat insignificant

But sadly I wonder…

If this is true love, is it meant for me?

Really…

Is this how love is meant to be,

Displayed in such a way like golden daffodils

And a sea of Lilies in an untouched valley

No… this is not right

I question these new waves in hindsight

Surly there is something wrong

This relationship is lasting far too long.

Dookie Dooks you’ve grown used to the other kind

Sour filth that clothed your mind

Incense of sex and betrayal inhaled clouds your thoughts

This new experience has caused you to come of the familiar trail…

Flies down

Pinned down

Stay down

‘Go down’

Turnaround

Pain so intense

You couldn’t scream out

Dogs on heat and you are caught in their fence

Spiritually you put up a wall of defence

Dookie girl its not been a kind world

Can you not accept that there is another side where true love resides?

Presented with bouquets of roses

Kissed gently on the lips

No tongue exposed

Buttons on your blouse stays closed

Really…

Oh if I could of let you see

That reliving ugliness was because of me

I couldn’t let go of all we learnt

Life now was too lazy

Going out with friends

Holding hands

Naaa that’s crazy

Pretending we exchanged wedding bands

This kind of love suffocated your inner self…

The abused me,

Cast out hidden behind the vase of flowers on the shelf

No thank you

I can’t do this

I want intensity

Wake up the inner me

Am I dead?

No longer do I feel the slanderous touch

This kindness shown is too much

I need to break free

I’ve been inactive sexually

And I don’t know how this could be

 

Is this love

Is this love

Is this love

Is this love that I’m feelin?

Like Bob, I wanna Know now.

Although part of me was willing

I was just not able

Poor soiled tainted me

Blinded by the past,

I grab hold of my other half

No longer hidden on the shelf

The flowers have died

The vase put aside

No matter how I tried I just couldn’t hide.

Was this love?

When I grow old and look back

Hopefully I will let you all know.

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Posted on April 18, 2019, in Memories. Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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